A Broad in America

It's the first day of the rest of my life. Time for a nap.

This is something I meant to write about awhile ago, but just found the title and an empty blog post in my drafts.

When we were planning to move from the UK to the U.S., I felt that there was a world of possibilities. Maybe I'd start a new career, work on a political campaign, meet some Silicon Valley brains, find some exciting new creative outlet, change my look entirely. But before I left London, I had so many things to wrap up, people to see and, of course, I had to fit in one last trip to Italy. I thought I'd figure things out when I got here.

I guess the whole process was more mentally exhausting than I realized. Once I arrived, I kind of crashed for awhile. A journey begins with a single step, but if you don't know what direction you're going, you stand still.

So, I stood still for awhile...and watched the first two seasons of Mad Men in their entirety. Then I joined a group of other people who lack direction but don't want to buy a self-help book, a.k.a. a stand-up comedy class.

We'll always have the iPhone

Thanks to the Eurostar, you can get from London to Paris in two and a half hours. You can take a weekend trip to Barcelona, or fly to Sicily on a whim.

Bemoaning the more limited travel options here, I decided to take a mental vacation and toured the Louvre via an iPhone app. No long lines, no admission fee. Unfortunately, there was no pain au chocolat at the café afterwards, either.

PC world

When M started his new job, I gave him some tips on working in America.

"DON'T drink at lunch." (They don't do the whole Friday pub lunch thing here.)

"DON'T tell anyone they look nice." (Americans sue!)

"DON'T make fart jokes."

That last one I just threw in because, really, it will benefit all of us.

The other evening M was looking pretty stressed out and when I asked him what was wrong, he said he had to take two hours of sexual harassment training by the end of the week. This was followed by a long pause before he explained that it was mandatory online training for all new managers. Phew!

Breaking bad

I've been working from home which of course means frequent coffee shop visits to ensure I don't spend the entire day in my pink pajama bottoms.

I've noticed a few types of people in the coffee shop set. Besides other people who work from home, you have the students, the laid-off Internet start-up execs who are touting their expertise and taking meetings trying to find "the next big thing", the new moms, and the old-school neighborhood locals.

I unfortunately found myself sitting next to another type the other day: a couple in the middle of a break-up. Because I'd just sat down, I felt it would be rude to get up and move (besides there weren't any other tables). I'm usually pretty good at blocking out surrounding coffee shop chatter, but their melancholy mood was palpable and inescapable in that way that I suppose all lesbian break-ups occurring in a public place, two feet away from you, are. "No, I don't want to know how you're feeling. You either. Oh my God, here comes the crying. Yep, they're definitely breaking up. More talking about feelings. Now they're crying AND hugging. Please, let this be over soon."

When it was, the dumper walked the dumpee out, with her arm around her to make sure she was okay. Somewhat rudely, she did not ask if I was okay.

But this did not disway me from starting my own new relationship with a woman. I found a new colorist who I think I might start seeing on a regular basis.

Trader Joe's encourages YOBS

Apparently, Trader Joe's does not realize that in Britain, the term "yob" refers to "a teenage lout or houligan" because they have a big point-of-purchase promotion encouraging more yobs in their store. If you bring yobs to Trader Joe's, you could even win 25 bucks!

How Hulu can save quality American journalism

I think I've figured out a way to save the newspaper industry and eliminate all of those biased news programs with hosts who ARE CONSTANTLY YELLING as if EVERY NEWS STORY WERE AN ARGUMENT. It's very simple: stop watching TV (and thus TV news), watch Hulu for entertainment content and buy your local paper. Yeah, yeah, I know you can get news online, but that's not helping anyone. Besides, it's harder to multi-task that way.

On a related note, we still have no TV. M wants to get one New Year's Day, but I want to watch a Bowl Game that starts at 9.

London west

My neighbor the fashion designer invited everyone in the building over for drinks the other evening. There are four units in the building. All seven of us that live here have at some point lived in London.

We have: one person from London; two from elsewhere in the UK via London; one from Hong Kong via London and Stockholm; one from Sydney via London, Ibiza and South Africa; plus M from Sydney via London and me from Quebec via Chicago and London.

We may just be in the most international building in the city.